It might look shiny on the outside, but everyone’s carrying something. Take a breath, give yourself a pause.

As the evenings draw in and the year edges toward its close, there’s often a quiet sense of reflection in the air. For many people, the festive season brings joy, connection, and moments to look forward to—but for others, it can feel like a time of pressure, expectation, and emotional juggling.

We all know that person who looks bubbly and bright, who seems to have it all together—but most of us are juggling more than we show. Even when things look perfect on the outside, life can feel heavy beneath the surface, and it’s easy to lose sight of your own needs in the process.

The holidays are often painted as a season of cheer and togetherness, yet the reality can be more complicated. There might be worries about money, family tensions, loneliness, or simply the sense of being pulled in too many directions. Even when things are going well, it’s easy to find ourselves exhausted by trying to do or be everything for everyone else.

The pressure of “should”

There’s something about this time of year that seems to amplify the word should.

“I should be feeling happy.”

“I should be more organised.”

“I should be spending more time with family.”

“I should be doing more, buying more, being more…”

These thoughts can creep in quietly, but they can also chip away at our sense of balance and self-worth. When we hold ourselves to unrealistic expectations—especially during a time that’s already emotionally loaded—it can lead to feelings of guilt, stress, or even resentment.

This is where self-compassion really matters. Giving yourself permission to let go of “shoulds” can be freeing. Instead of focusing on what you think you ought to do, try asking what you need. That small shift in focus can change everything.

Self-care doesn’t have to be grand

We often imagine self-care as something big—an afternoon off, a spa day, or a long walk by the sea. Those things can be lovely, but genuine self-care can also be simple and subtle. It’s the moments that help you reconnect with yourself amid the noise.

It might be taking five minutes to enjoy a quiet cup of tea before the day begins. It could be saying no to one more social commitment because you know your energy is low. It might be switching off your phone for an hour, stepping outside for some air, or letting yourself rest without feeling guilty about it.

These are small things, but they are powerful acts of kindness toward yourself.

A small personal note

One of the things I’m trying to work on myself is spending more time outdoors. I know how much calmer and clearer I feel after a walk, but like many people, I don’t always make time for it. So I’ve started making small changes—parking a little further away when I go to the supermarket, walking to the train station instead of driving, or simply taking a short walk around the block before I start my day.

They’re small steps, but they make a difference. And that’s often how real change begins—not with grand resolutions, but with tiny, meaningful choices that we repeat over time.

Looking ahead to 2026 with gentle goals

As we move toward the end of the year, there’s often talk of resolutions and “new year, new me” mindsets. But perhaps it’s time to rethink that. Instead of setting big resolutions that can feel heavy or hard to sustain, what if we made reflective changes—gentle, realistic goals that focus on wellbeing and balance?

Maybe 2026 could be the year we stop making long lists of things to fix, and instead focus on the small, thoughtful shifts that help us feel more grounded and connected. Perhaps it’s about being kinder to ourselves, creating more space for rest, or spending time doing the things that genuinely bring us joy.

Real change doesn’t always need a grand announcement. Sometimes it begins quietly—with reflection, intention, and a willingness to care for ourselves just a little better than before.

Giving yourself permission to pause

The festive season can be busy, and it can feel like it passes in a blur. But even in the middle of it, there are moments waiting to be noticed—the smell of something baking, the sound of laughter, the crisp air on a cold morning. Taking a few moments to simply pause, breathe, and be present can help anchor you back in the here and now.

If this time of year feels heavy, you’re not alone. It’s okay to acknowledge that. It’s okay if it’s not your favourite season, and it’s okay to take care of yourself in whatever way feels right for you.

You don’t have to do it all, and you certainly don’t have to do it all perfectly.

Sometimes the most meaningful thing you can give yourself—and those around you—is a gentler, calmer version of you.

As the year draws to a close, I hope you can find a little time for yourself — to pause, reflect, and think about what matters to you. If you’d like to explore what gentle changes might look like as we move into a new year, I’m here when you’re ready.

“Courage doesn’t happen when we have all the answers. It happens when we’re ready to face the questions we’ve been avoiding.”

— Brené Brown