From the outside, you might look like you’re coping really well.

You get things done. You’re reliable. You turn up for work, look after your family, keep on top of things and perhaps even seem calm and organised.

But inside, things can feel very different.

You may spend a lot of time worrying, overthinking or running through situations in your mind. You might find it difficult to relax, even when you have the opportunity to do so. Perhaps your mind is always busy, thinking about what needs to happen next or what could possibly go wrong.

This is sometimes described as high-functioning anxiety.

It isn’t a formal mental health diagnosis, but it is a term often used to describe people who continue to manage everyday life while experiencing a significant amount of anxiety internally.

And because you are still functioning, it can be surprisingly difficult to recognise just how much you are carrying.

What can high-functioning anxiety look like?

High-functioning anxiety doesn’t always look like what we traditionally imagine anxiety to be.

You may not experience obvious panic or feel that you are struggling to cope.

Instead, anxiety can show itself in quieter ways.

Perhaps you:

• Overthink conversations long after they have happened
• Worry about whether you have said or done the right thing
• Find it difficult to switch off at the end of the day
• Feel uncomfortable when you are not being productive
• Set very high standards for yourself
• Worry about making mistakes
• Constantly plan ahead or think through different possibilities
• Find your mind becomes particularly busy at night
• Feel that you always need to be prepared
• Have difficulty simply being in the moment

You may even wonder why you feel anxious when, on the surface, your life appears to be going well.

When looking fine doesn’t mean feeling fine

One of the hardest things about high-functioning anxiety can be that other people may not realise how you are feeling.

You may be the person others rely on.

The person who remembers everything. The person who gets things organised. The person who appears to have everything under control.

And perhaps you have become very good at carrying on, even when you are tired or overwhelmed.

This can make it difficult to acknowledge your own anxiety.

You might tell yourself that other people have much more to deal with, that you have nothing to complain about, or that you simply need to get on with things.

But anxiety doesn’t always look like falling apart.

Sometimes it looks like holding everything together while feeling exhausted underneath it all.

Why is it so difficult to switch off?

For some people, being busy can feel easier than being still.

When there is always something to organise, plan, achieve or think about, there is little opportunity to notice how you are actually feeling.

You may find yourself moving from one task to the next without really stopping.

Even when you finally have some time to yourself, your mind may continue working.

You might lie in bed thinking about tomorrow, replaying something that happened earlier or imagining different outcomes to situations that haven’t even happened yet.

Your body may be resting, but your mind hasn’t received the message.

The pressure of always being capable

High-functioning anxiety can sometimes come with a strong sense that you need to get things right.

You may be very hard on yourself when you make a mistake or feel that you haven’t done enough.

There can be a constant internal pressure to perform, achieve or stay in control.

And because you may have lived this way for a long time, it can become difficult to imagine doing things differently.

You may even worry that if you stop pushing yourself, things will begin to fall apart.

The impact of living this way

Although you may continue to manage your responsibilities, constantly being on alert can be tiring.

Over time, you may notice that you are:

• Emotionally and mentally exhausted
• Struggling to sleep or properly rest
• Finding it difficult to enjoy things that you used to enjoy
• Feeling tense or physically tired
• Becoming more easily overwhelmed
• Finding it harder to concentrate
• Feeling disconnected from yourself

Sometimes the biggest clue is simply the feeling that you don’t feel like yourself anymore.

Understanding what is happening beneath the surface

Counselling can provide an opportunity to slow things down and explore what is really happening beneath the anxiety.

Rather than simply trying to stop worrying, counselling can help you understand your patterns and the pressures you may be placing on yourself.

It can be a chance to explore where these patterns have come from, what keeps them going and what you might need in order to feel more at ease.

You don’t have to lose your ambition, your sense of responsibility or the qualities that make you who you are.

It can be about finding a little more balance, allowing yourself to rest and learning that you don’t always have to be in control.

If this sounds familiar

Perhaps you’ve spent a long time believing that you’re simply someone who worries a lot.

Perhaps you’ve become so used to feeling tense, busy or mentally alert that you don’t remember what it feels like to properly switch off.

Or perhaps this is the first time you’ve read something that describes how you actually feel.

If any of this feels familiar, you don’t have to wait until your anxiety becomes overwhelming before seeking support.

Sometimes having the opportunity to talk openly about what is happening beneath the surface can be the beginning of understanding yourself differently.

Counselling for anxiety in Berkshire

If you’re looking for counselling for anxiety in Maidenhead, Windsor, Slough or the wider Berkshire area, I offer a calm and supportive space to explore what you’re experiencing, at your own pace.

You don’t need to have all the answers before reaching out, and there is no pressure to know exactly what you need.

If you’d like to talk, you’re very welcome to get in touch to arrange an initial session or ask any questions.